Coming to the end of the semester, I believe the concepts discussed in class gave me a better understanding of who I am, what motivates me as a person, and at the same time strengthens my self-confidence in expressing who I really am. I learned that I need to be more mindful and aware of not only my surrounding but also the people I socialize with as we all come from different backgrounds or as we learned in class, we all were formed by different types of habitus.

Another important lesson I took away was how to better be in touch with my various emotions and how to regulate it such that it does not control my actions but instead I can modify what I feel to better fit the situation I am in. This gives me a greater sense of purpose as I am not longer a slave to my emotions but rather I am the master of my own fate which ties into another lesson we learned which was how to become a more agentic individual and delve beyond the looking glass when trying to see how others perceive me. This gives me greater confidence in my individual abilities and pushes me to become an active agent for change in my community.

Being kind to others is another big aspect of this course as I learned that the roots of injustice lies deeply-rooted in the system that we are all enmeshed in thus it is better to develop a more empathetic viewpoint when dealing with others rather than perpetuating this negative cycle and creating more inequality. I truly do feel now that those who are privileged enough to enjoy the greater luxuries to life such as myself not only can make a difference but should feel obliged to become persons for others as we are all in this one big community together so why not share the resources that I am grateful to have been blessed with in order to create a more cohesive and family-like social structure amongst all peoples. From this course, I have developed a more open mindset where not only do I have greater belief in my abilities but also greater belief in the power of collective action to inspire change thus activities such as the Do Good, Be Open, Be Social activity really opened my eyes to the power of positivity and mindfulness in our daily disposition.

Overall, while I was initially hesitant in believing how well I would fit in here in Ateneo, this subect has given me a lot of hope and knowledge that will guide me way of thinking such that I can utilize my time and talents to the best of my ability in order for others to feel more at home as well. We are all in this journey called life and instead of viewing it as one big game or competition, I have learned that we are all complex creatures wherein all we do need is some love and compassion to unlock our full potential as individuals thus synthesizing everything from theories of the self, socialization, and how our upbringing affects us, I can safely say that I am now a much more informed and mature individual after this semester.

1. What social structures help increase your sense of agency?

I base my sense of agency strongly off my faith as especially in a predominantly Catholic nation such as the Philippines, I am able to practice my religion in a setting that encourages the values of God-centeredness and spirituality. From going to mass every weekend to praying before big life events, being Catholic gives me a stronger sense of agency in that I am able to take control of my life and the events may proceed. In conjunction with this, my educational background especially now studying the a Jesuit institution such as the Ateneo de Manila University also strengthens my agentic capacity to enact change and become a man for others.

2. What social structures constrain you from being agentic?

While my aforementioned faith and education are aspects that fortify my agency, I would have to admit the the current political climate in the country is not quite conducive to being an agentic individual. This is because of how Duterte and his administration holds more conservative views where people are not given the liberty to speak their truths thus this in addition with being a teenage means I am not fully in control of what I do and what change I hope to create in my local community.

3. What resources do you lack that keeps you from increasing your self esteem/sense of being agentic?

First and foremost, I am still a teen which means that my overall life experience is quite lacking in order for me to make more concrete change in my community. Furthermore, I feel that in order for me to take on a more agentic role in my life, I require more independence from my family which also comes with age thus I simply need to wait for the right opportunity to eventually arise before I can fulfill these needs in my life.

4. How can you acquire these resources?

As stated, all I need to do is develop a more patient and understanding mindset that wisdom and experience all comes with age and eventually I will be able to take on a more active role in my own life free from the shackles of being in my youth and also being constrained by my family.

5. What resources do you have that allows you to increase your self esteem?

My strong familial connections and my fortunately upper-middle class background work in conjunction to ensure I am placed in a good spot in society wherein I do not need to be as dependent on others for my self-esteem. I am lucky to have been born into a privileged family wherein I need not worry about my everyday necessities thus I can focus on other aspects of my life such as my education and faith in order to increase my self-esteem and agency.

Reflecting on my online and offline personalities has enabled me to be more mindful
about the differences on how I present myself in reality, and online. I am not considered that active on social media, however there are instances that occur often times during a night out where I become a lot more confident with the contents of my posts.

Offline I consider myself to be a very energetic and happy person. I can be noisy, make jokes and comfortably chat with most people. Online, I am usually more conservative and careful with the things I say or do. I tend to post very selectively about basketball and the environment only and very rarely do I actually post on my feed or wall. It is usually just stories.

The meme I created aims to portray the clash in identities of myself as an individual
online and offline. As a confident person in the flesh it would make sense if my posts online had that same consistency. But it doesn’t. During a night out of enjoying myself with my friends (especially if alcohol is being served) I lose my conservative online persona and I become more of my offline self. Some might think this is a positive thing, but personally the next morning I usually regret what I posted the night before feeling as if I have exposed myself.

It is evident that social media (or the online world) is inherent in every human being that
uses cellphones and has internet connection. The way we react and absorb information from social media networks and other online platforms has been embedded in the way we think, feel, and interact.

On October 5, 2019, I was assigned to the GK Bulalakanan chapter for my BINHI iimmersion. We were given the objective of spending time with the family assigned to us, to get to know them personally and occupationally. The Bulaklakan chapter is located in Quezon City and upon first glance the community looked very organized and simple. According to one of the residents, this Gawad Kalinga chapter is called Bulaklakan because of the flowers growing around the area as well as what blossoming into a flower symbolizes for their community. The overall community is self-sustainable through their different stalls of sari-sari stores, agricultural gardens, and laundry shops. The houses were lined up in a grid format children were playing and running along the walkways, while residents all around were singing charaokee in different rooms. 

The specific family I was assigned to was the Teodosio family. The family consisted of 7 people, Judith Teodosio(Mother), Mr Tirso Teodosio(Father), Cyrus(Son), Babygirl(Daughter), Anne(Daughter), Mira(Daughter), and Dandan(Daughter). After meeting the family they gave us background of how they lived in numerous informal areas, this often led to the destruction of their home on multiple occasions. Since their home would constantly be destroyed they were forced to spend their finances on the home, instead of spending it for education or food. In 2015 the family sought help from GK Bulaklakan who was able to give them a stable source of income in order to support the children even though the family had a very low source of income.

Nowadays the Teodosio’s both husband and wife have a stall in a food market near GK Bulaklakan. At the stall they sell various vegetables some of which include petsay, eggplant, tomatoes, and spinach. All products that are sold come from their own garden in which Judith plants and grows herself. The stall itself daily earns around PHP1000 in revenue, that they are able to spend on any necessities for the family such as food. Not only do they have a stall, but they also buy starch and repackage the starch into small plastic that they are able to sell for 5 pesos each. During the immersion, we were able to make 40 of these small batches of starch which in turn would generate 500 pesos if all were sold. 

It could be said the family is undertaking a business of agricultural and primary goods. The family sees these products as necessities for the community enar them thus giving them a never ending demand for their product. Since their products are produced by them, they are also able to price the product at lower prices than any supermarket competitors. The main target market that the Teodosio family caters to would be the community around the area of GK Bulaklakan. Though this is a small specific market, they may have the potential to grow the market to other areas around the city, as food is a necessity to all. The one major problem with the business is that the family does not have the initial capital available in order to not only sustain but grow their business. Instead the family needs to use all revenue from their business in order to support the family’s necessities.

My visit to the local community can be describe as me going to a different field wherein the capital that I possess such as my English-speaking ability holds less value and thus I experience some dissonance in terms of how I socialize with the people in the area. However, I also can admit that my habitus which can be describe as upper-middle class lends itself to me developing a completely different outlook towards life as compared to the habitus of these people living in Gawad Kalinga as their habitus values hardwork and grit much more than if the field was more of an urban one. Thus, my upbringing and the upbringing of these people is what differentiated our outlooks towards life and paved the way for our current perspectives. It is simply my job to accept them for who they are as injustice is never the way to go when dealing with people from different fields and different amounts and values of capital.

The experience of meeting the Teodosio family was truly eye opening. It makes me realize that the term entrepreneur can have many different meanings, as clearly the Teodosio family are entrepreneurs in their own right. Though they may not be of the highest class of entrepreneurs they are still considered to be entrepreneurs as they make money in order to support their family. After going through this immersion, I am able to have a better sense of money as i learned that transactions and decisions within the business of entrepreneurs are essential in supporting and providing for their family, this at the end of the day is the goal of life. To conclude the BINHI immersion has been a humbling experience, after seeing those who are clearly less fortunate than I it has made me realize some of the true realities of life here in the Philippines and the meaning of hard work and dedication.

My friend Jessie Setubal chose to participate in this exercise. Firstly, what I think Jessie will say about me is that we are really good friends, and despite the fact that we only met this year we have developed a close enough relationship that I can confidently say I am somebody he trusts and opens up to. He also might say I am funny, because he laughs at my jokes a lot.

 In his description of me he wrote:

Both descriptions somewhat have a strong correlation to each other. Both descriptions express the element of trust, our positive relationship, and that I am funny. It is also evident that his description of me is more uplifting than mine in the sense that he says I am determined, genuine, and someone he hopes to be friends with for the rest of his life. I believe that this is because I definitely do practice being as genuine as I can, and that Jessie and I have already built a strong friendship. Me being genuine is what he receives (and reads) from my expressions given off (Goffman). 

Based on Goffman’s concept of front and back stage, I can confidently say that when Jessie and I are together I feel in my element and comfortable as myself. I feel as if I am at my back stage because my actions when he is around is natural and unforced. This could have been the factor that makes him perceive me as somebody genuine. There are often times however when we are in a more social environment, where we are with people he has known for a while but I do not know as well where I feel I am at my front stage. 

Based on personal reflection, in my front stage I tend to be more conservative. As extroverted as I am I would much rather attend to prior responsibilities than socializing with friends that I cannot be personal with. Often times, I would excuse myself from the group we are with to workout, or study hence why Aki thinks I am a very determined individual. I am not denying that I am determined, but I believe Aki’s description of my determination is more uplifting than i deserve.

In increasing one’s positive affect, there were numerous concepts discussed in class. My group was tasked to organize a program under the Do Good idea entitled Stickie Stickie, wherein the group would pass stickers full of motivational quotes or bible verses. This can be considered under the Do Good category as these stickers can provide a positive and beneficial influence to others, through the group’s actions. Essentially, the goal of the activity, we aimed to spread good vibes, and love to members of the Ateneo community. Aside from this, another goal for this activity is to gain personal fulfillment and to be able to send a message to the people to always seek happiness and peace within themselves.

After accomplishing the activity, I am able to say that the group achieved all their goals as every time we go around the campus, we would see people attaching the stickers to their electronic devices, their water jugs, folders, and other belongings. This could signify how these people somewhat believe or are inclined to these types of quotes and messages, and are not afraid to display it to the public eye. Moreover, this activity helps us reach a much wider audience because since people display it on the items they bring around campus, more people are able to absorb the message of these stickers, therefore spreading more positive vibes and messages. Furthermore, the goal I believe that I am most proud of is having the feeling of achievement and fulfillment from a personal standpoint. How I was able to spread positivity to other students and members of the Ateneo campus and seeing these people smile when they were given the stickers touched my heart. Now that the activity is over, I can still say that I have this kind of feeling inside of me due to the fact that I see the long-lasting impact of the activity when people display it publicly. I would usually think to myself that whenever these people have their own bad days, it is possible for these stickers to provide them with a glimmer of hope and a ray of sunshine so their days wouldn’t be completely dark and dull. I am grateful that these people appreciate our work and because of that, it basically makes me feel that it has improved my positive affect.

What I realized in this activity is how simple and small acts of kindness can go a very long way and this can slowly spread from one person to another. As a whole, I believe that this activity was able to help me mature as a person since I was able to have realizations on what I can do in my own little ways to be able to contribute to society and the well-being of its members. This can be related to the topic of sense of agency where I truly believe this activity was able to increase. Back then, I did not notice these simple things. The smiles. The laughter. The feeling of achievement and accomplishment of doing something good to the population. However, after this activity, my view has changed and I am more inspired to spread these positive vibes even more even if it is as simple as this activity.

Things I am grateful for today:

1. The food I ate during breakfast, lunch, and dinner
2. Family who always checks up on how I was doing
3. Ateneo friends, classmates and blockmates who always placed a smile on my face
4. The situation or lifestyle I am living in right now
5. The Lord’s guidance and presence
6. My professors and teachers who help me understand the lesson further
7. My driver who brings me to and from school
8. My yayas who always prepare what I need to bring and them actually fixing my room,
9. Being born to a comfortable situation

These are different emotions I experience almost on a daily basis. In these graphs, I aimed to identify instances that would make me feel this type of emotion and also, I shared my thoughts whenever I experience these respective feelings and how it affects my body and behavior.